When Does Being Close to Someone Become too Much to Handle?
It’s one thing to be close to someone, but it’s something
else to be “clingy.”
Everyone in the “clingy” relationship hates it, whether you are the person that is doing the clinging or the person that is being clung onto. It causes unnecessary worrying, feeling of nervousness, and a roller coaster of emotions, and for the other person it causes suffocation and confused emotion. Either way it is too much desperation for someone to handle.
How Clinginess can occur:
1. So many people think that ½ of their self- esteem relies on being in a relationship and having that other person to be there for them to make them whole. When in reality the only way a relationship can work is when two people can make themselves whole and not have any self- esteem damage.
2. The field of intimacy or love power either makes a person confident in their relationship and helps that relationship grow or it can turn to be an unhealthy dependency that grows into clinginess and needy.
3. Clinginess and power are two very powerful opposites in a relationship. If one partner has clinginess over the other and is always trying to make them stay, the partners power and will to get out of that relationship will over take any type of clinginess and it wont ever end up working out.
Helpful tips for if you are the type of person that was triggered by the field of intimacy:
1. See a therapist, it sounds like a lot of work but when you let them help you they will be able to put what you are so worried about into perspective, basically saying “You don’t hold onto love by squeezing the life out of it” (Banschick, 2012).
2. Sometimes you just need to learn relaxation techniques and breathing techniques to not be so needy, it usually happens when you feel the need to text or call them. Instead take a step back, breath and relax and question things before you do them.
3. Give space when you know that it’s the best thing for your partner. If they get time to think and cool down for a bit you have a better chance of being adult and talking it over civilly with out looking needy and desperate but rather pointing out the problem and talking about it when both partners are ready too.
4. Face the truthful facts and stop hiding behind lies that you tell yourself over and over again. You cant make someone love you so why not face the fact that they just aren’t into you rather then torturing yourself everyday trying to make them hold onto something they have already let go.
5. Make sure the person you are with is trustworthy; otherwise what is the point of putting yourself through that worry? Yes its nice at the time to have someone there that will complement you and do nice things sometimes but if they are full of themselves and don’t show mutual respect for your relationship then why have the worry of being in a relationship with that person.
6. Everyone has a point where they go through this feeling but if it is a good relationship it wont last forever, and its just a feeling of that field of intimacy for that short amount of time.
Everyone in the “clingy” relationship hates it, whether you are the person that is doing the clinging or the person that is being clung onto. It causes unnecessary worrying, feeling of nervousness, and a roller coaster of emotions, and for the other person it causes suffocation and confused emotion. Either way it is too much desperation for someone to handle.
How Clinginess can occur:
1. So many people think that ½ of their self- esteem relies on being in a relationship and having that other person to be there for them to make them whole. When in reality the only way a relationship can work is when two people can make themselves whole and not have any self- esteem damage.
2. The field of intimacy or love power either makes a person confident in their relationship and helps that relationship grow or it can turn to be an unhealthy dependency that grows into clinginess and needy.
3. Clinginess and power are two very powerful opposites in a relationship. If one partner has clinginess over the other and is always trying to make them stay, the partners power and will to get out of that relationship will over take any type of clinginess and it wont ever end up working out.
Helpful tips for if you are the type of person that was triggered by the field of intimacy:
1. See a therapist, it sounds like a lot of work but when you let them help you they will be able to put what you are so worried about into perspective, basically saying “You don’t hold onto love by squeezing the life out of it” (Banschick, 2012).
2. Sometimes you just need to learn relaxation techniques and breathing techniques to not be so needy, it usually happens when you feel the need to text or call them. Instead take a step back, breath and relax and question things before you do them.
3. Give space when you know that it’s the best thing for your partner. If they get time to think and cool down for a bit you have a better chance of being adult and talking it over civilly with out looking needy and desperate but rather pointing out the problem and talking about it when both partners are ready too.
4. Face the truthful facts and stop hiding behind lies that you tell yourself over and over again. You cant make someone love you so why not face the fact that they just aren’t into you rather then torturing yourself everyday trying to make them hold onto something they have already let go.
5. Make sure the person you are with is trustworthy; otherwise what is the point of putting yourself through that worry? Yes its nice at the time to have someone there that will complement you and do nice things sometimes but if they are full of themselves and don’t show mutual respect for your relationship then why have the worry of being in a relationship with that person.
6. Everyone has a point where they go through this feeling but if it is a good relationship it wont last forever, and its just a feeling of that field of intimacy for that short amount of time.